I am starting by telling you all that I don't know where to start and I fear that is how it is going to shake out from this part forward as our days get longer and down in the heart of the city and the conflict.
It was chilly and a bit damp again today to stat and the foggiest it has been, which made our overlook and the "geo"graphical part of our geopolitical tour a bit more challenging than our guide from Ir Amin would have liked. But even in the face of fog we got experience some things that were amazing and delivered an extreme ounce of perspective. Where did we go today, the West Bank...yes that is right. In our geopolitical tour we drove many of the boarders, and boundaries and through different housing developments both Jewish and Palestinian. It is very hard to explain but here is a quick run down of the West Bank. It is split into 3 areas; Zone A administered by the Palestinian Authority, Zone B administered by the Palestinian Authority and secured by Israelis, Zone C is fully administered and secured by Israel. So today we were able to drive our bus (with Israeli guides, guard and driver) into the C area, though when we visit the city of Bethlehem and the Mayor they are unable to go with us (it is also in the West Bank) because it is fully in the Palestinian controlled area. This is very complicated, and even after talking it through and researching it my 3 friends and I don't fully understand it. What I do understand are a few things;
1) At no point today did I feel unsafe-The check point, the guards with large guns, and the large cement wall barriers that separates out the West Bank were an amazing site but aside from waving us through and asking our driver one question (in both directions) nothing else was done because we said we were American tourists. I am not sure that this is reaffirming or scary but either way I felt safe on our bus.
2) It was amazing to see the discrepancy in living conditions (at times right beside each other) between Jewish settlements/housing areas and Palestinian housing areas. Our Ir Armin guide referred to it as a 3rd world country, the Palestinian area and I have to say, I did look like it at many times.
3) Everyone has a political ideology driving their actions and at times it was clear that the geopolitical guide was saying things that our guide was not agreeing with, but both remained very appropriate (in language-maybe not in non-verbal expressions!). The Ir Armin guide stipulated that urban planning was not driving Israeli development decision but political expansion and a need to build up their presence in the land that they desire to control (the geography) was driving the decisions.
The second part of the afternoon was what you think of when you hear of a trip to Jerusalem and you are Christian, we walked the path that Jesus walked with the cross. This path is marked along the Via Dolorosa by large bronze metal circles with Roman numerals in them and with various churches along the way. We took some amazing pictures and at points read from the Gospels to hear the story as told in the New Testament. Yael (our fabulous guide) told her the story along the way, which was unique in that she is a Jew telling a Christian story (and carrying an tabbed King James version of the Bible). This had me thinking what it must be like for her, and the Jews on our trip to be spending such an amount of time doing this very Christian (specifically non-Protestant-as she explained the Protestant faiths believe that Jesus walked a path on the opposite side of the old city and ended in a different church, not the Holy Sepulcher (which we visited at the end). So what do I do? Consult the trusty Rabbi for the "Jewish" perspective.
This is where I was literally stuck for a good 20-30 minutes with my world just left in an non-understandable state. So I know things about Judaism and can explain a bit about it to those who know nothing but when I asked Seth what Jews think about this whole "stations of the cross" and crucification bit I was shocked by the answer and it left me feeling like it wasn't possible for two such opposite but overlapping realities to exist. From my interpretation of what Seth said about Judaism and Jesus it goes kind of like this....
1) Some Jews will say that he did live (most agree that there is a historical confirmation that Jesus the man did live) others may question it (but that isn't unique to Jews)
2) Jews only spend time on Jesus and think about the role he played in as prominent way as they do (which is minimal at best) because the Christians put such an emphasis on him that they are forced to think more about his role in scripture (well isn't that the true life of any less privileged group-knowing a ton more about how the privileged see things than the privileged know about them!)
3) Without the external Christian emphasis they wouldn't really spend time studying, dialoging, or praying about his existence, teachings or work. They would acknowledge that he died (but all humans do) but the how or what that happened would in no way be significant.
His example was let's say that all of Christianity is pretty much wiped out except for the Mormon faith (for a numbers sake). That is all that will be left of what is a version of Christianity, but not really what I was taught to believe, though there are some vague intersections or similarities (monotheism, some shared or agreed upon stories). I literally could not, end of story.
It was then visible to Carolina that I was stuck in a place that I couldn't understand and definitely wasn't making meaning of. I explained it to her like this...it would be like someone telling your parents that Cuba didn't really exist. What do you do with information like that?
Some would then immediately question their faith, religion, spirituality. Some would immediately denounce the statement by shear faith alone. Some would do nothing and move aimlessly along with no reflection or introspection at all. Here is what I did. I thought long and hard about it, throughout the walk. I kept coming back to it while we toured the Church of the Holy Sepulcher (which also had me questioning why Protestants didn't think Jesus walked to and was crucified on this particular mound), I thought a great deal about it before touching the slab of stone that is said to be the actual physical piece the Jesus was laid on and ascended from (while others were kissing it, crying on it, praying to it, and rubbing tokens on it to take home), and even more when we saw the Greek Orthodox priests doing "Ash Wednesday" type of services as they were bringing in Lent today in there faith. Oh and did I mention the fact that his tomb was in the middle of the church as well and there were rocks dug out that were to be where the cross was stuck into the ground when he was hoisted up to painfully hang from his hands and feet to die? Well we saw all that too and I reflected and I thought about it all.
And now for my change today, it has nothing to do with my professional life but everything to do with my personal and religious life. I think we are all right and we are all wrong at the same time. I think that is is ludicrous for a church to ask you to declare your statement of faith after going through a few classes about their history and that any person can know what that is by the time the are in high school. Well, at least it was for me, maybe not for some, but I know when I was that age I was just saying what I thought I had been told, but didn't know what I believed or why or if it was even my belief or someone else's. Below is what I believe, and I would like to say that it is a Christian belief, though I am sure some could argue that.
DISCLAIMER: This has been 33 years in the making and more clarity was brought today but this is not a result of only walking the Via Dolorosa today.
There is one God (monotheism is what makes the most personal sense for me) who created the heaven and the Earth and all things that are a part of it.
God knew it would be messy from the moment Adam bite the apple (well God actually probably knew before that but the action sealed the deal)
God had a greater hope for the world he created and he wanted to give all that he had created in his imagine a way to be absolved of the sin that had entered the world
God sent Jesus Christ to try and bring balance to this growing sinful world, knowing that the sin would never truly go away now that it had started
Jesus taught many people many things, and was able to help people in a way no other human could because he himself was divine and from God which allowed him to do many amazing things like curing and healing
He was persecuted for this amazing abilities by a government that wanted no one in power but those they put in power, they were threatened by his abilities
Because of this he was killed in a way that was in no way proportionate to his crime (that of impersonating a King according to Roman law)
From there the one true God worked his miracles and Jesus rose from his grave and took his place in heaven as the savior who died to bring salvation to a people that needed something beyond what was available to them, they needed divine guidance and acceptance
Why do I know this? Because I do. I don't need historical facts, carbon dating, validated DNA from shrouds, or written scrolls in a language I don't understand and can't read. I just believe. This too might be unique to Christians, this idea of faith (some would call it blind faith) but to me it is just faith and I believe it because this world is too miraculous and harsh of a place to have come out of no where and to not have a better place waiting somewhere in the wings.
This is alot, trust me I know. I am even thinking right now, do I really want to upload this and have it out there for the 10 folks who will probably read it....Yes. Why? Because it is better to stand for something than nothing at all and this is it for me. Take it or leave it, that is your choice but me today I am telling you that, "I choose Jesus. A divine Jesus to died on the cross to give me hope, faith and new life with God the Father."
That is it. End of my blog today, feel free to comment away. I am not saying this is the only right way or that by reading this you must agree with me. I am simply saying loud and clear, this is my belief...but it is me, so if you take me know that you get this belief in me, it is a package deal.
